I Followed Body-Slimming Fashion Tips Throughout History

Transcript

0:00
– I look like a marshmallow that someone just threw
0:01
the stick and the marshmallow into the fire and
0:04
was like fuck it, I don’t want to see that
0:05
marshmallow ever again.
0:11
This week I’m going to be following fashion rules
0:13
from women’s magazines form the past several decades.
0:17
I think for a lot of girls growing up, women’s magazines
0:19
are sort of your first venture into the world of womanhood.
0:23
Plus size fashion has come so far in like the last five
0:26
years alone, so I feel like in the 70s and 80s it’s
0:29
gonna be like if you’re a little heavier, you should
0:31
wear a circus tent.
0:33
So for day one I had to follow some rules from a 1981
0:36
Woman’s Day magazine.
0:40
So one of the things they suggested was a chemise
0:41
style dress, that’s supposed to skim the hips
0:44
and hide your problem areas.
0:48
I look like the woman at an Italian funeral who gets
0:50
mad at everybody for not eating.
0:52
What do you think about this?
0:53
– I just, you know it just ages you.
0:55
– You look like you’re about to play an organ.
0:57
– At your own funeral.
0:58
– Showing this outfit on someone who’s a completely
1:00
different body type to you is like so useless.
1:02
– It seemed like the idea in the early 80s was that
1:05
like if you have figure problems you should just
1:08
go into the witness protection program.
1:10
For my next outfit I also picked something from
1:12
the later 80s.
1:14
So the rules suggested that I wear something that
1:16
had like fitted trousers but like a really loose tunic
1:20
that would skim my hips.
1:21
So it wasn’t like a total potato sack.
1:24
This feels huge on me.
1:27
I look like a goth pillow case.
1:28
It was like a black M&M with legs.
1:31
– This does not make your figure look slimmer at all.
1:34
– It’s very shall we say, tent-chic.
1:36
– [Kristin] Yeah that’s one way to put it.
1:38
– It’s flowy.
1:39
– I mostly just kind of look like parts of me
1:40
are censored, like from here down.
1:42
I’m too hot for TV.
1:45
This was a thumbs sideways for me.
1:51
I saw in a magazine there was a spread where on one half
1:54
it talked about how to make a problem waist
1:57
look better and then on the other half it talked about
2:00
how to make a problem tummy look better.
2:02
And they were two different outfits.
2:04
If you have a problem waist or a problem tummy,
2:07
you probably have both.
2:09
So I decided to follow the waist flattering tips on
2:12
day three, I wore a brightly colored blazer with a belt
2:15
and slim trousers.
2:19
Alright, it’s my 90s outfit, I got this little belted
2:23
jacket situation here, I kind of feel like a newscaster
2:26
or like, I dunno Effie from The Hunger Games on like
2:29
a casual Friday.
2:31
This is definitely a distinct improvement from all black
2:35
every day, I look like if a highlighting marker went
2:38
to a business meeting.
2:40
– I mean, it’s flattering, it’s just not your personal style
2:42
usually, it doesn’t look like, you’re not usually in
2:45
like color-blocked things.
2:46
– I think the first 90s outfit was pretty good.
2:51
90s rules were more about drawing attention to certain
2:53
parts of my body and less about making sure that no one
2:56
could see my body at all.
2:58
These rules seemed focused on being like well, at least
3:02
you have boobs, so let’s play up the consolation prize.
3:06
The second 90s outfit kind of made me feel like I was
3:08
trying a little bit too hard, sort of trying to
3:12
draw attention to one area when I clearly don’t want
3:15
you to look at the other area.
3:17
This is what the first wife wears in court to make
3:19
sure that her husband doesn’t get any of the estate.
3:22
– It’s just square, it’s very box, it’s very boxy.
3:24
– [Kristin] It’s like, I’m not a textbook I don’t
3:27
need to be skimmed over.
3:28
– Yeah, exactly.
3:29
– Yes to the coat, maybe not to the scarf.
3:31
If you had the coat open and you show a little cleave
3:34
I think that’d be really sexy.
3:35
– I look like a doctor at like the fanciest OBGYN
3:37
office ever.
3:39
So this outfit was also like a thumbs sideways.
3:41
So day five was an outfit from the mid-2000s.
3:44
I wore an empire waisted top with a pair of bootcut jeans
3:51
because according to the magazines I saw, bootcut jeans
3:54
are supposed to balance out your hips.
3:56
Finding a pair of like really flared bootcut jeans was
3:59
really hard, they’re really not super cool right now
4:02
so people aren’t wearing them.
4:04
I think what we learned here is that I don’t so much
4:05
look smaller as I just of look like Hillary Duff.
4:09
I think this is a really good way of making sure no
4:11
one knows you have feet.
4:13
– These feel sort of like when I used to wear baggy jeans
4:16
because I didn’t know how to wear clothes that fit me
4:18
back in high school, like that’s what it reminds me of.
4:20
– I spent all of college thinking that I should be
4:22
wearing these things.
4:23
– You look like Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama.
4:26
– Yeah, I look like How to Lose a Guy in
4:27
10 Pairs of Bellbottoms.
4:29
Everyone just kind of thought I looked dated.
4:33
This outfit was a thumbs down for me.
4:34
I read an article in Oprah magazine that talks about
4:37
how wrap dresses accentuate your curves and cinch
4:40
in your waist because cinching in your waist is cool again.
4:42
Got the v-neck, ’cause you can’t forget about
4:46
my two favorite backup dancers, my boobs.
4:49
What do you think?
4:51
– You look nice!
4:52
– I like it, it’s giving me like, Angelina Jolie like
4:54
pop at the Oscars vibes right now.
4:57
– This dress never fails.
4:59
I don’t think I talked to anyone who didn’t like this dress.
5:01
I think right now we’re very conditioned to feel that like
5:04
showing yourself off is good and so you know this is kind of
5:08
how black looks like in 2017.
5:12
It’s the intersection of what’s cool and what I like
5:17
about my body which is these fun little curves here.
5:20
If you don’t cinch in your waist you can’t see ’em.
5:22
Take that 80s.
5:24
This outfit is a thumbs up.
5:27
People always want to feel like they’re wearing the thing
5:30
that’s gonna make them look the best.
5:32
Fashion has such a powerful role to play in how
5:35
people view themselves and it seems so silly to like
5:38
cut yourself off from different outfits because some
5:40
dork in a magazine said it was bad.
5:43
Looking your best is about feeling your best.
5:45
And you can feel your best in basically anything.

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